Ouch!!!

It hurts, badly. School started today, and that is how I felt the entire day.

I had a bad dream last night. It was my first day back in SIN for good, and I was extremely lost. Looking back on the 18 months spent in STL, I was utterly disappointed with myself. Nothing spectacular was achieved and I've wasted 13,140 hours rotting my life away. I was devastated that I've not done a single voluntary work, not bought enough clothes/bags/shoes, not learnt to be a better person. It hurts so much when I woke up.

Dinner at Han Gook Kwan made up for it, partially. Though it was not as yummilicious as the Korean BBQ we had in KOBA months ago, it was a free meal from hubby's boss. (He flew in again for a meeting.) Which free meal isn't good?

I'm trying to drop one of the 3 courses I am taking this term. If I could rid the Tuesday evening class, I should seriously scout for a humanitarian work. I've sinned too much. It's payback time.

I felt like I'm overwhelmed by emotional waves now. I get easily depressed whenever the topic of our departure surfaces. I get upset, jealous, defeated, and everything negative.

God, show me the light, and some love.